I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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