He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
