Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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