ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
