to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize
