there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
