my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize