weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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