I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
