My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it's like heaven, but drunker
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
there is glitter all over my balls
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