As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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