We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
