The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
