One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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