Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If that was your dad, he is hot
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
