Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
