What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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