He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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