I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
