Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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