the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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