She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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