i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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