plz talk dirty to me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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