I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
