Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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