Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
