Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
