My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
where am i from again
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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