Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
