so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
