i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
