Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
