im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
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I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My penis needs a shock collar
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.