i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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