Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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