i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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