i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
