I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
