Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
