Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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