bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
