PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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