Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
