My room smells like vodka and shame
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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