I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
