The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
