Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
and she was petting her beer can
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize