Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
