We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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