So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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