.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
