Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
