Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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