HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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