Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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