Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
