We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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