I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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