been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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