I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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