It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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