I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
