I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
