K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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