I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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