I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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