If i come over, it means nothing
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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