I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
