i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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